Thursday, April 3, 2008

REAL evil on Earth #1

Hello All!

In effort to make this blog a public service in addition to the soap box it is for my polemics (tongue firmly in cheek). I've decided to call attention to what I think are the REAL sources and/or evidences of EVIL in our world. Without further ado I give to you the first installment of:

REAL Evil on Earth!
episode #1
This agency of evil on Earth needs to be stopped! This is my list of evidence of evil and malcontent:

  • This corporate behemoth wants to be a part of everything in your life very soon you will drive down to the DunkinHomeDepotWalmart to buy your fat laden dough-nuts, your $.99/100 dry wall screws and your corn syrup laden ketchup.

  • This company STILL uses Styrofoam cups! Are they living in the 70's? Even McDonald's stopped using foam boxes to enclose their food (term used loosely) a long time ago.

  • The liquid that fills those Styrofoam cups with their ubiquitous logo is NOT, I repeat NOT coffee. I don't know what constitutes that horrible bitter rancid brown liquid but it has never been part of a coffee bean. To bill this substance as coffee is a bald-faced lie and further erodes America's standing in the world.

  • Get this tid-bit to your advertising agency: Inform the clientèle that it is E-S-PRESSO NOT E-X-PRESSO.

  • Your cutesy television ads that have the temerity to suggest that Dunkin' Donuts is somehow a replacement for Starbucks are annoying and ignorant. You sell products as different as McDonalds versus Ruth's Chris Steakhouse! Don't pretend otherwise.
There you have it! Evidence of REAL evil on Earth perpetrated by Satan's creation, Dunkin' Donuts.


1 comment:

Ed said...

If I had any doubts about the existence of the devil they have been erased by this fiendishly addictive combination of caffeine and fat and sugar rolled together (called a donut).

I am Ed and I am a caffeine and sugar addict. It has been 12 minutes since my last fix.

I pray to the all mighty lord to end this terrible affliction. I bow down in total, complete, servitude to my lords will. I am a poor, wretched, pitiful man, incapable of the any degree of free will.

No wait, that didn't work. Never mind. :)